In-person & online sessions available across Illinois and Indiana
POST-AFFAIR THERAPY IN OAK PARK, IL
Individual therapy for women. You may not have meant for things to go this far. But now that they have, you deserve a space to understand why.
You cheated. So…now what?
Things feel anything but normal. You’re withdrawing from friends and family, struggling to concentrate on the simplest tasks, and questioning what life is going to look like now that your secret is out—or living with the constant fear that it might be.
At the same time, you might admit that you feel a bit liberated. You’re still a sexual person after all—you’ve still “got it”—and when you were together, you felt beautiful, desired, and perhaps, for the first time in a long time, like yourself again.
Maybe you actually haven’t cheated, but it’s only because you’re filling your time with shopping, drinking, overexercising…literally anything to help you try not to think about the other person. So sure, right now you’re “safe,” but deep down you know this way of coping with your feelings probably isn’t going to work forever either.
I SUPPORT WOMEN WHO ARE…
Exploring if they’re going to stay or leave their marriage post-infidelity.
Dealing with the messy aftermath of telling the truth or being found out (partner leaving, kids finding out, leaving their job, etc.).
Done with the affair, but can’t stop thinking about the other person.
Worried they’re going to do it again.
Dissociating to avoid all the stress, confusion, and guilt inside.
UNDERSTANDING DESIRE
Part of our work together will involve exploring female development, your relationship to sexuality, and how you understand your own sensuality.
For many women, this is territory that has rarely been explored with honesty or curiosity, so we create space to talk about it openly and without judgment.
Sexologist Jack Morin’s erotic formula is: attraction + obstacle = excitement. So it makes sense, really. It’s so much more exciting to want what we can’t have! And when you’re a woman who is so used to managing responsibilities and events (day after day, week after week) amid your family or work life, that kind of off-limits desire is even more thrilling. It’s taboo, out of the norm, and frankly, pretty hot.
Is what you're searching for really outside of yourself? Maybe what you're seeking is you.
MY APPROACH
YOU’RE NOT A BAD PERSON. YOU ARE (and always will be) DESERVING OF LOVE AND KINDNESS.
I know you probably want to “feel better” right away—to get rid of all the guilt you may be feeling or noise in your head. There could be a part of you that wants to blame your partner and make the session about him or her. But we’re here to talk about you and what’s really going on.
So we begin this work by peeling things back—layer by layer. Not to shame you (you’ve done enough of that), but to understand you. We’ll look at what was happening in your life before the affair ever began:
The patterns in your relationships
The roles you’ve carried for years
The ways you learned to cope, control, please, or perform
An affair usually doesn’t start with the affair at all. It starts much earlier—with unmet needs, pain from the past, or parts of yourself that never had room to breathe. As we connect those dots, things that once felt chaotic or confusing begin to make sense. And when they make sense, you’re no longer stuck reacting to them—you can start choosing differently and start becoming the woman you really want to be, who has the kind of relationships you really want.
If certain memories or experiences are still holding a strong emotional charge, we may use EMDR to help your brain process them so they no longer have the same grip on you. “Getting past” what happened isn’t the goal, especially when a decision like this has ripple effects beyond just you. We’re here to understand yourself deeply enough that you can move forward in a way that feels honest, intentional, and fully your own.
WHEN WE UNCOVER THE why:
You understand why you did what you did—without collapsing into shame.
You see how your past and your nervous system shaped what really played out.
The guilt and confusion start to loosen their grip because things finally make sense.
YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD differently:
You reconnect with who you are underneath all the roles you’ve been carrying.
Life isn’t just about “surviving”—you start living it intentionally.
You learn healthier, more fulfilling ways to meet your needs for love, intimacy, and connection.
The truth about what happened might feel complicated. UNDERSTANDING IT CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING.
frequently asked questions
FAQS
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Absolutely. Emotional affairs can be just as confusing and painful as physical ones. Many clients come to therapy because they have developed a deep emotional connection with someone outside their relationship and don’t fully understand how it happened. Therapy can help you explore the meaning behind that connection and what it may be revealing about your needs, your relationship, and yourself.
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I’m here for all of it. I work with women navigating many forms of infidelity, including emotional affairs, physical affairs, workplace relationships, online relationships, and situations where the relationship has already ended but the thoughts and emotions haven’t. Some clients have been discovered by their partner, while others are still holding onto the secret and trying to figure out what to do next.
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That’s actually very common. Women often begin therapy feeling deeply conflicted about their relationship. Therapy isn’t about pushing you toward a particular outcome (you may not even know what you want yet). It’s about helping you slow down, understand your feelings, and make decisions that feel right as you figure that out.
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I have extensive experience helping women navigate the aftermath of an affair, and it is a significant part of my practice. My role isn’t to judge or shame you (that’s not what you need). I help you get to the bottom of what was really happening underneath the situation. Using a trauma-informed approach and, if you’re interested, EMDR therapy, we explore the patterns, emotions, and past experiences that may have contributed, so you can move forward with a better understanding of yourself and make thoughtful decisions about what comes next.
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Carrying a secret can feel incredibly isolating and stressful. Many women come to therapy because they feel overwhelmed by the constant anxiety of being found out. I can help you process the emotional weight of the situation and think through all of your options with a clearer perspective and support. This is a space where you can speak openly and honestly, and we’ll review the boundaries of confidentiality together so you know exactly what to expect.